[Nhhoa] Outside pool visitors

[Kimberly J Hackler]

I am writing this as a Homeowner, not a Committee Chair.
It's bad enough to have to confront non-North Hampton residents.  But having 
to confront at least one  of the neighborhood's kids, and their visitors, 
for not obeying the rules is worse.
After multiple back-to-back episodes, I confronted them for various forms of 
throwing their bodies into the pool with great force, but was aggressively 
confronted by an attending parents for doing so.  If you're not obeying the 
rules, that are clearly defined for all to see, why shouldn't we have the 
right to politely, but firmly, ask that they be obeyed?  The rules are there 
for a reason; most are for safety purposes.
What if one of those kids went in a little too deep (which doesn't take much 
in a 5' deep pool) and broke a cervical vertebrae and was paralyzed?  Even 
though they shouldn't have done it, would it avoid a law suit?  One never 
knows.
I've paid my Association dues and have just as much right to enjoy the pool 
without getting wet in a chair by the various body hurling (they told me 
they weren't "diving").  My reading material got wet as well and I don't 
appreciate it.
Then, to have to sit there and listen to the ridiculous barbs being thrown 
my way by other adults because I had the guts to confront them.  Makes for a 
wonderful day at the pool - thanks.

----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Amanda Brown" <mandy22726 at yahoo.com>
To: "North Hampton Homeowners Association" <nhhoa at nhhoa.org>
Sent: Monday, June 02, 2008 7:15 PM
Subject: Re: [Nhhoa] Outside pool visitors


I had the same problem Saturday night, we ended up leaving after they 
wouldn't leave. The kids came in a van and tried to squeal the tires in the 
parking lot. I heard them say they are from whispering pines, they were very 
rude and obnoxious. What should we do?

Amanda Brown


--- On Mon, 6/2/08, Jennifer Martin <jennifermartin at bellsouth.net> wrote:

> From: Jennifer Martin <jennifermartin at bellsouth.net>
> Subject: [Nhhoa] Outside pool visitors
> To: "North Hampton Homeowners Association" <nhhoa at nhhoa.org>
> Date: Monday, June 2, 2008, 2:13 PM
> Hi Gang,
> My little family and I went to the pool today and had an
> excellent time.  It's great to have the opportunity for
> my kids to play with others in the neighborhood.
>
> However, at one point I counted 16 people in the pool that
> were not from our neighborhood.   I tried (which is VERY
> hard for me) to confront them about having to have a
> homeowner with them while using the amenities, but that
> didn't work.  Needless to say, it was rather crowded.
>
> I'm not good at confrontation.  Any suggestions?
>
> In addition, the pool and bathrooms look great.  Thank you
> board and other volunteers for the work you do for our
> neighborhood :)
> Jennifer Martin
> ESOL Instructor
> White Elementary
> Pine Log Elementary
>   ----- Original Message ----- 
>   From: Roger Hackler
>   To: 'North Hampton Homeowners Association'
>   Sent: Sunday, June 01, 2008 8:15 PM
>   Subject: [Nhhoa] Peaceful Coexistance
>
>
>   Here are some helpful suggestions for achieving a
> peaceful coexistence with your neighbor:
>
>   Before There is a Concern:
>
>   Meet your neighbor. Introduce yourself at the mailbox,
> when taking a walk, or when you see the moving boxes
> arrive. Learning your neighbors' name and regularly
> offering a cordial "good morning" or
> "hello" can be the start of a positive
> relationship. Don't worry about whether or not they
> reciprocate. The important thing is that you are making an
> effort. Don't wait until you have a problem to meet
> your neighbor.
>
>   Keep your neighbors informed. Contact your neighbors
> before you do something that might affect them-such as
> hosting a big party, building a fence, cutting down a tree,
> or getting a new dog. Informing your neighbors ahead of time
> allows them to make plans or tell you how your project will
> affect them. Getting their input lets you act in a way that
> avoids problems.
>
>   Observe the Golden Rule. Treat your neighbors the way
> they would like to be treated. Set an example by being
> considerate about noise from vehicles, tools, stereos,
> group activities and pets.
>
>   Be aware of differences. Differences in age, ethnic
> background, years in the neighborhood, etc. can lead to
> conflicting expectations or misunderstandings unless you
> make an effort to communicate and understand each other.
>
>   Consider your neighbors' view. How does your compost
> pile, dog run, or son's car parts look from your
> neighbors' backyard or windows? Keep areas that are in
> others' view reasonably presentable.
>
>   Be appreciative. If your neighbor does something you
> like, tell them! They will be pleased that you noticed the
> yard work or the new paint job. It will be easier to talk
> later when they do something that you don't like.
>
>   When There is a Problem:
>
>   Don't assume that discussing it will aggravate your
> neighbor. Your neighbors can't help resolve a problem
> they don't know exists. Focus on:
>
>   ·         Learning rather than delivering a message
>
>   ·         Understanding rather than blaming
>
>   ·         Joint problem solving rather than who is at
> fault
>
>   If you use these approaches, the conversation will
> usually go better than you think. Neighbors are often not
> aware that their actions are negatively affecting others.
> Usually, people are willing to make changes if you approach
> them respectfully.
>
>   Don't assume you know your neighbors' intentions.
> If your neighbor does something that irritates you,
> don't assume that it was done on purpose. Presume the
> neighbor doesn't know about the annoyance. Giving them
> the benefit of the doubt will make it easier for you to
> talk about the situation.
>
>   Don't wait to talk about things that bother you. If
> your neighbor does something that bothers you, let them
> know. By communicating early and calmly, you take a big
> step forward toward resolving the problem. Don't wait
> until a minor irritation becomes a major issue and makes it
> difficult to discuss.
>
>   Separate the person from the problem. Conflict can happen
> whenever two or more people interact with one another. It
> occurs because we are all unique individuals with different
> perspectives, values, and needs. Focusing on the issue, not
> the person will allow you to take care of the problem while
> maintaining or improving your relationship with your
> neighbor.
>
>   Be respectful. Talk directly with the neighbor involved
> with the problem. Don't gossip or spread rumors with
> other neighbors. Gossip damages relationships and can hurt
> other people. Problem solving is only possible when we
> treat each other with respect.
>
>   Be calm. If a neighbor approaches you accusingly about a
> difficulty, listen carefully and thank them for telling you
> how they feel. You don't have to agree or justify your
> behavior. If you can listen and not react defensively, then
> their anger will subside, the lines of communication will
> remain open, and there is a good chance of working things
> out.
>
>   Listen well. When you discuss a problem, try to
> understand how your neighbor feels about an issue and why.
> Understanding is not the same as agreeing, but will
> increase the likelihood of a solution that works for you
> both. Summarize what you hear and ask questions to clarify
> your understanding of their view of the problem.
>
>   If things get heated, take a break. If you need to, take
> a break to calm down and think about what you and your
> neighbor have discussed. Arrange a time to finish the
> conversation later, and then do so. It's hard to
> problem solve when you are having a heated discussion.
>
>   Constructive communication can resolve conflict, and
> talking things over directly is the best way to handle
> problems, and avoid enforcement or the courts.
>
>   From the City of Beaverton Oregon Dispute Resolution
> Center.
>
>
>
>
>
> ------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>
>
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