[Nhhoa] Outside pool visitors

[Amanda Brown]

I had the same problem Saturday night, we ended up leaving after they wouldn't leave. The kids came in a van and tried to squeal the tires in the parking lot. I heard them say they are from whispering pines, they were very rude and obnoxious. What should we do?

Amanda Brown


--- On Mon, 6/2/08, Jennifer Martin <jennifermartin at bellsouth.net> wrote:

> From: Jennifer Martin <jennifermartin at bellsouth.net>
> Subject: [Nhhoa] Outside pool visitors
> To: "North Hampton Homeowners Association" <nhhoa at nhhoa.org>
> Date: Monday, June 2, 2008, 2:13 PM
> Hi Gang,
> My little family and I went to the pool today and had an
> excellent time.  It's great to have the opportunity for
> my kids to play with others in the neighborhood.  
> 
> However, at one point I counted 16 people in the pool that
> were not from our neighborhood.   I tried (which is VERY
> hard for me) to confront them about having to have a
> homeowner with them while using the amenities, but that
> didn't work.  Needless to say, it was rather crowded.  
> 
> I'm not good at confrontation.  Any suggestions?
> 
> In addition, the pool and bathrooms look great.  Thank you
> board and other volunteers for the work you do for our
> neighborhood :) 
> Jennifer Martin
> ESOL Instructor
> White Elementary
> Pine Log Elementary
>   ----- Original Message ----- 
>   From: Roger Hackler 
>   To: 'North Hampton Homeowners Association' 
>   Sent: Sunday, June 01, 2008 8:15 PM
>   Subject: [Nhhoa] Peaceful Coexistance
> 
> 
>   Here are some helpful suggestions for achieving a
> peaceful coexistence with your neighbor:
> 
>   Before There is a Concern:
> 
>   Meet your neighbor. Introduce yourself at the mailbox,
> when taking a walk, or when you see the moving boxes
> arrive. Learning your neighbors' name and regularly
> offering a cordial "good morning" or
> "hello" can be the start of a positive
> relationship. Don't worry about whether or not they
> reciprocate. The important thing is that you are making an
> effort. Don't wait until you have a problem to meet
> your neighbor.
> 
>   Keep your neighbors informed. Contact your neighbors
> before you do something that might affect them-such as
> hosting a big party, building a fence, cutting down a tree,
> or getting a new dog. Informing your neighbors ahead of time
> allows them to make plans or tell you how your project will
> affect them. Getting their input lets you act in a way that
> avoids problems.
> 
>   Observe the Golden Rule. Treat your neighbors the way
> they would like to be treated. Set an example by being
> considerate about noise from vehicles, tools, stereos,
> group activities and pets.
> 
>   Be aware of differences. Differences in age, ethnic
> background, years in the neighborhood, etc. can lead to
> conflicting expectations or misunderstandings unless you
> make an effort to communicate and understand each other. 
> 
>   Consider your neighbors' view. How does your compost
> pile, dog run, or son's car parts look from your
> neighbors' backyard or windows? Keep areas that are in
> others' view reasonably presentable. 
> 
>   Be appreciative. If your neighbor does something you
> like, tell them! They will be pleased that you noticed the
> yard work or the new paint job. It will be easier to talk
> later when they do something that you don't like.
> 
>   When There is a Problem:
> 
>   Don't assume that discussing it will aggravate your
> neighbor. Your neighbors can't help resolve a problem
> they don't know exists. Focus on:
> 
>   ·         Learning rather than delivering a message 
> 
>   ·         Understanding rather than blaming 
> 
>   ·         Joint problem solving rather than who is at
> fault 
> 
>   If you use these approaches, the conversation will
> usually go better than you think. Neighbors are often not
> aware that their actions are negatively affecting others.
> Usually, people are willing to make changes if you approach
> them respectfully.
> 
>   Don't assume you know your neighbors' intentions.
> If your neighbor does something that irritates you,
> don't assume that it was done on purpose. Presume the
> neighbor doesn't know about the annoyance. Giving them
> the benefit of the doubt will make it easier for you to
> talk about the situation.
> 
>   Don't wait to talk about things that bother you. If
> your neighbor does something that bothers you, let them
> know. By communicating early and calmly, you take a big
> step forward toward resolving the problem. Don't wait
> until a minor irritation becomes a major issue and makes it
> difficult to discuss.
> 
>   Separate the person from the problem. Conflict can happen
> whenever two or more people interact with one another. It
> occurs because we are all unique individuals with different
> perspectives, values, and needs. Focusing on the issue, not
> the person will allow you to take care of the problem while
> maintaining or improving your relationship with your
> neighbor.
> 
>   Be respectful. Talk directly with the neighbor involved
> with the problem. Don't gossip or spread rumors with
> other neighbors. Gossip damages relationships and can hurt
> other people. Problem solving is only possible when we
> treat each other with respect.
> 
>   Be calm. If a neighbor approaches you accusingly about a
> difficulty, listen carefully and thank them for telling you
> how they feel. You don't have to agree or justify your
> behavior. If you can listen and not react defensively, then
> their anger will subside, the lines of communication will
> remain open, and there is a good chance of working things
> out.
> 
>   Listen well. When you discuss a problem, try to
> understand how your neighbor feels about an issue and why.
> Understanding is not the same as agreeing, but will
> increase the likelihood of a solution that works for you
> both. Summarize what you hear and ask questions to clarify
> your understanding of their view of the problem. 
> 
>   If things get heated, take a break. If you need to, take
> a break to calm down and think about what you and your
> neighbor have discussed. Arrange a time to finish the
> conversation later, and then do so. It's hard to
> problem solve when you are having a heated discussion. 
> 
>   Constructive communication can resolve conflict, and
> talking things over directly is the best way to handle
> problems, and avoid enforcement or the courts.
> 
>   From the City of Beaverton Oregon Dispute Resolution
> Center.
> 
>    
> 
> 
> 
> ------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> 
> 
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